I do not care if even one person reads this post

I gave a "Christian talk" at a banquet Sunday night.

 Which was followed by:

 -some great alone time with God under the stars

-cherry pie for breakfast

-psalm 66 read by the maintenance man

-prayers with a guy leaving  for missions in Liberia with a crate full of blessings

- Sunshine

-a cup of coffee with great people that knew the more immature me

 & a great sermon on the radio (sounds very elderly I do realize) during my drive home. 

I was hungry.  So I attempted to drive to a place and get some food. 

 I took a wrong turn (so I thought)

 There (as the sermon was still teaching me stuff from the radio) sat 2 homeless people.   

I said out loud "Dang it God" Really?  Today?  Along with the account of all the other very Christiany Jesus things I had just accomplished over the past few days.

 I pulled over looked to see what I had to give them.   

All it amounted to was Gatorade (fruit punch), BBQ corn nuts & 67 cents in change....

What happened next was more important than food and anything money could ever buy-even a whopping 67 cents.

 I talked with them …nothing special,  just talked

We talked like three acquaintances that happened to see each other at the gym --except not the gym because I do not ever go there.

Came to find out they had showered at a shelter that morning & I had not showered in more than 24 hours :) 

When it was time for me to go they each touched my hand and said goodbye.

I am not sharing this story for praise or any of those other flowery words.  Really I do not know why I am sharing this.  I do not even have pretty pictures to go along with it.

All I know - is in that second when they touched my hand.  I felt like I was being touched by God himself.

For approximately two weeks I have been pleading with God to forgive me for hanging out with the 99 & not looking for the one: 

 "What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?  Matthew 18:12

In fact just one hour before my right "wrong" turn.  I had confessed to Norm and Ardith I need to be more intentional of the 1 

-I even started to sing this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bSCL_7vID8

God knows me better than I know myself.

He knew I would walk myself down into a valley of disappointment for not keeping my eye on God's will for me

so.............

He sent me 2 examples

I got to bask in the glory of feeling like an over achiever....But God knowing me.  Knew that wouldn't last long either. 

 My homeless friends

did more for me than I did for them.

All this is to say. 

Heck, I don't know? 

I do not care if  even one person reads this post.  Just like the tattoo on my wrist. 

This post may be only for me. 

Yesterday was  a gift to me,.

Yesterday I was the one in need. 

And for a moment I felt full. 

I did not feel alone

I do hear God & he sees my attempts at obedience & He wants me to know that there are things only I am here to do. .........And when I do them.  Only then am I full.  Only then am I not alone.

Hanging around the 99 can be grand.  But hanging around the 99 I sometimes see too much of what I wish I was or wish I did better. 

 When I am looking for the ONE,  I am not lost.

 

Don't set up camp in the Valley

My happy shoes arrived!

 

Now, don't go thinking I believe a pair of shoes can bring happiness.

I am a little spiritually deeper than that.

It seems I have had a lot of these types of days

The kind where I know I am on this path for a reason. 

Although I wish I weren't

The kind where I hope to reflect back someday

& see

see & understand

understand

 why

 

 

Why I came across a barrier when I was certain I was on the right path

Why I found myself here..............

 

 

When I thought was going there

Why I don't even get the whisper from God

"I am here"

or a little reminder along the way

 

on the down right dirty days

I need happy shoes

Because!
Because dang it! 
I need to see that something that shouts_

"Girl tie up those laces and get going"

 

The bible says Thou I walk THROUGH the valley

not Thou I walk to the valley and set up camp!

 

I will not let myself be content in the valley

 Properly fitting Happy Shoes will make  the messy trip through a little brighter

 

 

 

 

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. Romans 15:4

 

How to Prepare a Soldier - Proverbs 22:6

Recently our 9 year old son has had an increased awareness of Afghanistan and all things related to war.
Soldiers
Weapons
battles
everything
right down to bathrooms out in the desert.

A calling is being showered over his life.

From the moment we knew of our first child I was determined to foster their goals.
I placed my trust in God and what He wants for my kids and I strive to not get in the way
too often.

There are the obvious things my kids will not get a green light to do
Sex, drugs and drinking

But, many other things are up for discussion

You want green hair? Fine.
You don't want to be a Pastor like your dad? That is alright too.
Missionary? Great.
Julia's first dream was to own a DQ and cut hair.
Then she wanted to be a marine biologist.
Did I say "That is impossible ....you live in MN." No, I did not.
Julia now wants to move to France for a time and wear a cape.
I think this may actually really happen.

A Soldier?
This is different. This wanting and yearning to be a Solider has kind of thrown me for a loop.

I didn't imagine this one coming.

So, how do you prepare your son to be a Soldier?

I have watched myself carefully over the past few days. I proceed with caution when I am about to speak. I am watching God at work in my son. Solider or not. Daily I have seen the ways in which we can prepare or children or deter our children.

To prepare my soldier

I watch him build.......a few Lego's at a time

brick upon brick his dreams become realities

more intricate

useful

purposeful



And although sometimes I wish he didn't.....................I do not stop him from his church bulletin doodles during worship.

I admire how his pride transcends the obvious and shows itself in even his recreation.



It shouldn't surprise me.......

But it does every time............ I watch him push his fears aside to step forward to do something out of character for him like he did on Saturday when he asked a "Real Marine" if he could try out 

Right here.

Right now.



Javier spent the day with my dad. The two of them are like minded in anything that deals with fishing, hunting, gutting, stinky, dirty.............man things.



This picture gets to me.

It is my boy among the men.

David who is not afraid to fight Goliath

Imagine that small voice speaking in 1 Samuel..

“You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty."

That is pure faith.

How do I prepare my Soldier.

My Solider may never see the sand of Afghanistan

He may never cross an Ocean

Regardless of whether my son acquires dog tags, M.D. behind his name, or a socket wrench as a tool for his trade he needs to be prepared.

But how?

I think to prepare a Soldier

the key is to prepare

His mothers heart.

God's got him covered.

I need to foster his freedom

to dream

to pursue

and yet

have courage to muddle through the uncertainties when life throws him a fast pitch

when his dreams have added dimensions

or

turn out differently than expected.

It will be OK

because his mom has constantly been preparing her heart

to let him go

to let God be the voice he listens to first

to cheer him on

to pick him up

Someday these dog tags may only say Soldier

Or not.

If they don't

I will not be because I stood in His way.



I will dedicate myself to preparing my Soldier for whatever battles and victories come his way.

No one likes a Dream Stomper

Being Photography is one of my Passions one would assume I knew all there was to know about Focus.

For days I have been
TENSE
ANXIOUS
down right CRABBY at times.

& sadly enough it is over my daughters garage sale.

A garage sale!  For crying out loud.  It is a little girls garage sale. 

Why do I focus on this:

 

The mess.

 

My Focus has been on the wrong side of the curtain.

 

WhatI should have been focusing on has been happening all along

 

just on the other side of the curtain.

 

 

 

Willingness to work

 

Teamwork, negotiations, communications

 

 

creativity , going beyond what is expected

 

 

 

FREEDOM!

Freedom with the proper Focus

 

 

Dang it anyway! 

They are even taking the opportunity to invite others to learn about Jesus at our church's upcoming Vacation Bible School

(you can sign up too by the way  http://www.gslcglencoe.org/childrenjrhigh.htm )

 

 

Look at those faces

 

 

Just look at them!

 

How dare I focus on the mess

 

 

This is where my husband is most likely wishing I would take my own advice and tell myself

"The mess will still be there later."

"For now, just go back to sleep."



 

 

But for now.

RIGHT NOW

 

My daughter is carrying out a dream.

 

 

 

As a parent,  that is my focus.

 

To allow my kids to dream and attempt to carry them out to completion.

 

 

The song Two Sets of Jones' began filling my mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Tm0TLLq0GM

 

 

I always picture myself as the Jones Family I assume would be on Evelyn's side of the curtain.  

Positive in strife.  Slow to anger......etc.....etc.........etc.......

 

Psalm 23:4 is so true.  I need Thy Rod and Thy Staff.  They comfort me. 

 

I need the discipline.   The Rod. I need the Two Sets of Jones'  to pop in my head and set my focus. 

I need Thy Staff to lead me onto the other side of the curtain......

 

It is like putting my camera setting on Auto and letting God take over to show me what is important.

 

You may consider setting your Focus on Auto and seeing what God wants your focus to be on.

 

Without my Auto Pilot I would have been a Dream Stomper.

 

No one likes a Dream Stomper

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Misled away from Joy

 

J is for Jesus

 

 

 

O is for Others

 

 

 

Y.....Y.....Y....Y..... is for You, yOu, yoUUUU

& because I sometimes I try to do things upside down, backwards, a little different from the norm and on my own

it only seems right that the caterpillars in my house would do the same.

So YOU can decide which Y you most enJOY to complete your JOY



I thought I could sit down for a quick second or two

And blog about how easy it is to find Joy

If a few caterpillars can spell it out, how hard can it be?

I will let you in on a little secret......

This morning it seemed difficult.

I read about Joy even in Sorrow.

Joy even though I have not seen what has been promised

Endurance, patience, and joyfully waiting.

I was looking for the fast food type Joy.

Order.....Receive

No waiting, endurance or suffering required.

Then I stumbled upon James 1:16

Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

For a few moments this morning I had been deceived.

I had set out to find joy spelled out for me.

Neon Sign JOY.

Mountain top JOY

After all if caterpillars can spell it out for me, shouldn't God plop it into my life everyday?

I even imagine God asking if I would like my Joy super sized today.

The answer is.

He does.

In two verses God simply...... almost sneakily reveals the answer to finding Joy

I just miss it.

I miss it because it is not spelled out in Neon.

He does plop it down in front of me though.

Everyday.

God gives me good and perfect gifts.

I just needed to be reminded to stop for a second and look around ....

Look around. Not for the one gift too large to carry.

Look around.

Grab on to the little gifts that are all around.

The verse reminds me God does not change .......the perfectly good gifts are all around.

They always have been

They will never go away either.

BONUS!

My job is to see the gifts.

Collect and acknowledge them

Then I will become refreshed in JOY

The Joy of a summer mist will suddenly become the downpour my parched heart yearned for.

His light shone through this mornings darkness to reveal how quickly shadows can shift here on earth and lead me away from the good

It almost begins to stir a little mountain top Joy in my heart.

SIDE NOTE:

My 10 year old is upstairs right now attempting to set up a garage sale fro Thursday and Saturday. Mind you, I wanted no part in set up, pricing or carrying out this adventure. But, I am the mom and sometimes we get to participate in these things by default. I promise. I will open my eyes up very wide and try to see the good gifts God is revealing to me even in what I perceive as suffering ;)

After all I did find Joy spelled out by a few caterpillars.

A lesson in Losing

She's a Lovely Little Lady

Looking for a room......

 

 

You know the song........ feel free to start singing too:
Bullfrogs Butterflies&  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4KVwX44Z9A

My love for Butterflies all started with that song. 

Little did I know.........................

God was really placing a life changing lesson in my possession.

I grabbed on to it

It's fascinating
Life can be compared to that of a caterpillar

strength, endurance and growth happening at too rapid of a pace
stillness, quiet and sleep lasting just long enough to repeat

someday

even though by looking ... you can not see it

There are wings

Wings

But, before I jump too far ahead.

Take a look at today.

My lovely little lady found a spot to make her room.

I actually thought the caterpillar had died. 

Two entire days it was still
(which is longer than usual)


Just when I was about to give up.
Because patients is not a virtue that comes easily to me

The caterpillar began to teach me a lesson:



With what shall I come before the Lord
and bow down before the exalted God? Micah 6: 6

 

 

 

The pressure began to  mount

pullsing.

resistance.

And before the old self could be shed

The caterpillar raised it's body as if begging

A final plea.

Have Mercy on Me of Lord

Have Mercy on Me

Have Mercy

Have Mercy

Mercy    Mercy  Mercy

 

As the surge of energy lessened.

The head began to bow humbly

 

And just as had Jesus asked..............

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." Luke 22:42

I imagined the caterpillar doing the same.

But, maybe God's Mercy to the caterpillar is in the fight

the resistance

the pulising into a New Life.

How else do we recognize a new life?

Labor. 

Death

If it was easy...............

If it was easy...............

Would we know God's Grace

 The release.

 Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the Lord shall be thy reward.  Isaiah 58:8

 

 Into your hands I commit my spirit; deliver me, LORD, my faithful God. Psalm 31:5

 



Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.

 

Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.

 

 

 

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.

 

 

 

it shall be no longer mine

 

it shall be no longer mine

 



 

If I were a caterpillar I would have been satisfied by this point. 

 

The old self is gone. 

 

 But I am not a caterpillar.

 

And God is God.

 

The caterpillar thrust, spins, thrashes.

 

Not until it is gone.



 

 

 But until it is GONE.

 

 

 

 

 

Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.
Mark 10:39

 

The chrysalis stands

 

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

 

and I wait

 

waiting for insight into what is happening inside.

 

 

 

 

I hear you Knockin'

Ugh.

My friends on facebook have begun to remind me that tomorrow is my birthday.

I am debating with my husband if my recent forgetful/clumsiness is just part of my character  that is currently being highlighted or if I indeed need supervision along with my kids!

My birthday is one thing I would not mind forgetting.

I  forever want to be a mid 20.............beautiful, young &  energetic gal.

Even though.......................................................

When I actually was in my mid 20's I did not think one of those things about myself then either.

To combat the downward spiral of birthday blues

I decided to put some of my bible study practices into action. 

A few of my close friends have started & for some of us (ME)  restarted our Gratitude Journals.  This was  an idea we received from a blog  http://www.aholyexperience.com/ and I even  have helped lead a retreat around the concept.

I am a very visual person, so I got out my trusty camera Eshter and began my search.

It took only seconds for me to find my first "Gratitude Journal Worthy" photo op

 

 

The Pocket Hose!  This thing is incredible, just like they say on TV.   I can not focus on this extraordinary find for too long because I may start to feel upset  that I didn't think of such a Splendid Hose and am now making millions.

Moving along

 



Little did I know that this unexpected gift (which in itself is Gratitude Journal Worthy) would soon also become part of my grand morning adventure to save the day.  (I am sure this will become a blog post later-stay tuned)

And, it is obvious by this photo that I FINGER PAINTED yesterday.  Today I am enjoying the teal heart that seems to not want to wash off.

 

 

So, besides my fingers I also got a little paint on the grass, my knee, my shorts, my shirt and it was discovered this morning.....my armpit.

 

I am thankful that my mother-in-law knows me well enough to send me a card with a butterfly on the front....AND............ a gift card so that I may possibly buy myself something fun at the superstore and not something used to soak up, flush, toss, digest and flush  or any combo of the previous.

 

 

A letter in the mail from camp.

 

Even though she is already home.

 

My daughters new hobby, nail art.

 

But.....................This is where it gets a little sappy.

 

It is not just regular old nail art.  It has dept and meaning.

 

"See mom the dark string at the bottom?  That is like our sin."

 

 

 

"But...............then"

 

"This is the good part!"

 

"Jesus comes along and covers it for us."

 

"That is what the white string is for.  Jesus, Jesus cleans us from our sin."

 

 

Train up a child in the way he should go; Proverbs 22:6



 

Ah, something .......... something we have planted along the way is beginning to take root.

 

 

Last but not least.  I sat down near my garden to begin tagging my perennials with the beautifully finger painted garden sticks I made yesterday and just like that!

 

BANG! 

 

I am staring at a plant that I can not for the life of me remember that dang name.

 

The negative self talk starts.

 

 I grabbed a hold of it.

 

Stared it in the face

 

Picked up and wrote on the most colorful, bring a smile to your face Garden Stick I could find.

 

Dementia.

 

and on the back:  I bought this plant because I liked it!  Does it matter what it is?

 

It made me giggle anyway & at the moment that was really the point.

 

I picked up my camera to take the photo and this verse popped  to mind: 

 

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.Revelation 3:20

 

Too often God is knocking. 

 

I do not hear Him.

 

Or.....I hear Him knocking but He can't come in (sorry I could not help myself)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ry2td7q5ZMc

 

It is all coming back to a verse I have had to repeat to myself SEVERAL times this year.

 

Sometimes SEVERAL times in an hour.

 

 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ^{Philippians 4:7}

 

Looking for the Gratitude Journal Worthy moments

 

 Is my way of opening the door to His Knocking. 

 

I let Him in.

 

After all

 

He is the one standing guard at the door to bring me peace.