Reality of Real life

 

 

I contemplated posting nothing at all.

 

I contemplated ignoring the fact the outcome was not what I anticipated or desired.

 

I wanted to forget.  I wanted others to forget too.

 

 

But, that is not real life.

 

Real is doing everything in my power to achieve a perfect ending

 

only.......................

 

the perfect ending is not my idea of what a perfect ending should look like.

 

My mind keeps repeating

 

"Michelle, there is a lesson in this somewhere."

 

It must be too soon for that lesson to reveal itself?

 

My brain tells me

There is a reason, a lesson......................

My heart doesn't believe it.......................

My heart blames me

It beats ..what if...if only.....why didn't........

 

I do know

 

God has a way of teaching me through unconventional ways. 

 

Monarchs are my hymns

 

&

 

Photographs make the Word leap higher off the page and fill it with the breath of life

 

So as I sit in silence with a lifeless habitat

 

I wonder.

 

When will this start to make sense?

 

Then

 

My eye catches the very first blog about my little critters.

 

It all began with Deuteronomy 31:8

 

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

 

 

So. 

I will start here. 

God has gone before me. 

God is with me. 

There is a lesson here somewhere. 

 

It may just be a while before I realize the lesson.

 

Do not be discouraged.